The women of Mumsnet (everyone’s favourite social litmus test, whether or not you’ve got kids) are sharing the weirdest things that happen to their bodies on a regular basis.
And it’s brilliant.
‘I know I’m not the only one.’ says one poster.
‘I cant even be arsed to name change, here goes. Nervous fanny. You know when someone falls – hard and cracks their chin or elbow or whatever, my stomach drops, I get a shot of anxiety that shoots through the pit of my stomach down to my fanny.
‘Right in the middle of my fanny I get a horrible feeling of anxiety. It’s only started in the last few years, its really unpleasant.
‘It’s like a bolt of anxiety, and I ONLY get it when someone hurts themselves. Wtf is that all about?
‘Anyway, what weird shit does your body do? Confess.’
And confess they did.
Saying in the same area, one poster wrote: ‘If I haven’t had sex for a week or so I start having orgasms in my sleep!
‘Not the kind of thing you talk about in real life so I don’t know if other people have them too! They are real because they wake me up.’
Some posts were more unusual than others. One woman shared her experience, writing, ‘If someone is talking behind me, in a low or deepish voice (not whispering though) my back goes into incontrollable [sic] spasms from bum to shoulders.
‘Has proved embarrassing in long queues’
It’s not just intimate issues though, the thread is jam packed with all sorts of mini-maladies.
‘My eyeballs make a clicking noise sometimes when I lie on my side.’
‘If I put my finger in my belly button, it makes my throat itch which can only be stopped if I hold my nose and blow,’ another said.
‘I have a small dimple at the top of my bum crack. Touching it makes me wee. Even if I’ve just been.’
‘I get period pains in my knees (not so much much since pregnancy though) and in my bum cheeks. And when I have a poo, my fingers really hurt.’
‘I have freaky shrinking feet. I used to be a size 5, then one morning I woke up to find all my shoes were too big. I went to a shoe shop and the only size that would fit me was a size 3. I went to the GP, who said it was possible my arch had raised on both feet (and I do now have a very high arch)’ poster, Milk, said.
Thank God for Mumsnet, the supportive and non judgmental environment that makes it possible for women to share stories about dimples that make you wee and feeling nervous in your vagina.