We’re Talking About Kelly Ripa’s Sex Life Now, I Guess

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    “All I want for Christmas is a satisfying sexual experience.”
    “….”
    “See? He gets so mad for no reason!”

    On Wednesday’s Live! With Kelly, host Kelly Ripa told her audience of day-drunk-on-a-bus-trip-housewives that Mark Consuelos acts like a real dick after sex. And while it’s every man’s dream for his wife to tell people about their sex life, this was particularly awesome for Consuelos because he was right next to her on live TV while she did it. Via Huffington Post:

    “He’s immediately mean to me afterwards and I don’t like that. I think it’s bizarre. He becomes short with me, you know what I mean? Like, irritated,” the host said.
    “Is that true?” Consuelos interjected.
    “I’m like, ‘Oh, now you’re irritated? You were so loving three minutes ago!” Ripa said, while her shocked husband burst into laughter.

    Everyone knows that publicly embarrassing someone is a great way to diffuse their irrational anger. It’s working great with our President who just got told to eat all of the dicks by yet another federal judge and look at him. It’s not like he’s all caps ranting on Twitter and getting ready to roll out his Fuck You, Gays executive order next. And I’m not at all trying to equate Mark Consuelos with President Panty Twist. But I am saying there was probably a better approach than the one Kelly took like, say, counseling. Or filing down the penis button because remember the penis button?

    Kelly Ripa Penis Button

    That’s from six years ago, and we still remember. We’ll always remember

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    Photo: Getty, Splash News

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