The best words of wisdom from grandmas and granddads

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    The best words of wisdom from grandmas and granddads
    They’re full of advice (Picture: Charly Clements for Metro.co.uk)

    I was told by my granny that carrots would help me see in the dark.

    My granddad said that eating the crusts on bread would make my hair go curly.

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    Grandparents love to spoil their grandchildren, they arrive to stay, laden with sugary treats and loud toys.

    They have fun and leave us parents to do the hard graft. Although they can be strict, when required.

    From their years of being on planet earth, grandparents can offer words of wisdom – even though, when we receive them as a young child, it may be some time before we realise that what they say makes a lot of sense.

    The rising popularity of social media among older generations is making us pay more attention to our own grandparents. With 89-year-old Baddie Winkle boasting 3.3 million followers (and counting) on Instagram, it seems that plenty of people are keen to listen to their elders.

    Here are some top words of wisdom gathered from adult grandchildren today; some I have heard before from my own parents and grandparents, but many I have not.

    You’ll catch up on sleep when you’re dead.

    Many a true word is said in jest.

    Remember, life is not a rehearsal.

    My granddad Ben told me:

    The only way this family will progress is through education, so work hard at school.

    I used to dream about ghosts a lot when I was a kid, so my granny Philly used to say:

    Don’t fear the dead, it’s the living you should worry about.

    After a bus, or a man, you should never run. The next one will be along in ten minutes.

    Never mistake kindness for weakness.

    My granny would say this as she tipped double cream over her chocolate pudding. She lived to 98:

    Moderation in all things.

    My grandma always says this, meaning if you can’t find something, it’s there somewhere and will turn up again:

    The house doesn’t lose anything.

    This advice comes from Sarah-Jane Adams, photographed below. Take a look at her hashtag #mywrinklesaremystripes:

    If the universe sends you a curve-ball, I strongly suggest you catch it and run.

    Quiet pigs eat the most grain.

    In other words, the quiet ones are the ravers.

    If in doubt, don’t – except if it’s washing your hair.

    Brandy fixes everything. Can’t sleep? Brandy. Gums hurt? Brandy. Cold? Brandy. Flu? Brandy.

    That one’s from a granny who owns a pub.

    If it’s good, enjoy it, if it’s bad, it will pass – nothing’s forever.

    Be concerned, but never worry.

    My friend’s granddad used to wave us off on Saturday nights out with the gem:

    If you’re not in bed by midnight it’s time to come home.

    Only boring people get bored.

    No-one can do to you what you can do to yourself.

    House guests and fish all start to smell after three days.

    Always wear a clean pair of knickers in case you get run over.

    Better to be five minutes late in this world than five minutes early in the next.

    My frugal mum was always horrified by my grandma’s fashion advice:

    If you like it, buy it in every colour

    If you want something done, ask a busy person.

    This final one is possibly my favourite:

    When my amazing granny was in the hospital with pneumonia, she mostly slept.

    But she woke up once when we were all there. ‘I have something to say,’ she announced.

    We all held our breath for her last words. She farted, laughed and went back to sleep.

    She died that day and her last bit of fun summed up her wonderful life. She was granny to the end.

    Kate writes at Mad about the boys and has recently been published in Washing Up Is Good For You and Walking In The Rain.

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