So you know when you’re talking to a friend who just got out of a relationship with a person that you know they cheated on and they’re all like, “Man, relationships are bullshit designed by the church to turn you into sheep, man,” and then two minutes later, they’re in another relationship? That’s how I’m choosing to read this Scarlett Johannson Playboy interview:
You’ve said that you aren’t sure humans are designed to be monogamous.
Well, with every gain there’s a loss, right? So that’s a loss. You have to choose a path. I think the idea of marriage is very romantic; it’s a beautiful idea, and the practice of it can be a very beautiful thing. I don’t think it’s natural to be a monogamous person. I might be skewered for that, but I think it’s work. It’s a lot of work. And the fact that it is such work for so many people — for everyone — the fact of that proves that it is not a natural thing. It’s something I have a lot of respect for and have participated in, but I think it definitely goes against some instinct to look beyond.
And of course many marriages don’t work out.
I think marriage initially involves a lot of people who have nothing to do with your relationship, because it’s a legally binding contract, and that has a weight to it. Being married is different than not being married, and anybody who tells you that it’s the same is lying. It changes things. I have friends who were together for 10 years and then decided to get married, and I’ll ask them on their wedding day or right after if it’s different, and it always is. It is. It’s a beautiful responsibility, but it’s a responsibility.
Jokes aside, ScarJo is right. Monogamy is an unnatural social construct that goes against our biology and can feel like a goddamn bear trap that most people won’t think twice about chewing their fucking leg off to get out of. However, it’s also a surefire way to get laid with some semblance of regularity, so I didn’t say any of that stuff. You’ll never prove it. *crumples up post, shoves it in mouth* I was never here!
Side Note: How awesome does this guy feel right now?
“Haha! Monogamy’s so dumb it hurts my DNA!”
“Ah, oui. — Vait, vhat?”