Paddy McGuinness reveals he is 'never happy any more' 

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    Paddy McGuinness and his wife Christine have discussed the heartbreak they suffer over their four-year-old twins’ diagnosis with autism. 

    The 43-year-old TV presenter admitted he often ‘feels like he’s drowning’ when dealing with Leo and Penelope’s battle while the model, 29, revealed their ‘hearts break every day’ while watching the struggle their children face. 

    Speaking to The Mirror, the couple, who are also parents to 10-month-old daughter Felicity, admitted they are learning to live with the condition although there are days in which they feel defeated by the lifelong developmental disability.

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    Proud: Paddy McGuinness and his wife Christine have discussed the heartbreak they suffer over their four-year-old twins' diagnosis with autism

    Proud: Paddy McGuinness and his wife Christine have discussed the heartbreak they suffer over their four-year-old twins’ diagnosis with autism

    Paddy and Christine announced the twins’ condition on the tots’ fourth birthdays and have been candid about their family life while dealing with autism.

    In his interview with the publication, Paddy said: ‘Some days, it feels like you’re slowly drowning. It’s like you’re under water desperately swimming up to get oxygen, but never getting there.’

    Christine went on: ‘Every day our heart breaks’. Paddy admits facing life with the condition has caused him a constant black cloud over his happiness as he said: ‘When I hear the word ‘autism’ I just feel so unhappy. 

    ‘I don’t like seeing how it affects my children. It upsets me so much seeing them getting so stressed out and frustrated. Every parent just wants their child to be happy and to protect them. 

    Inspiration: The 43-year-old TV presenter admitted he often 'feels like he's drowning' when dealing with Leo and Penelope's battle while the model, 29, revealed their 'hearts break every day' while watching the struggle their children face

    Inspiration: The 43-year-old TV presenter admitted he often 'feels like he's drowning' when dealing with Leo and Penelope's battle while the model, 29, revealed their 'hearts break every day' while watching the struggle their children face

    Inspiration: The 43-year-old TV presenter admitted he often ‘feels like he’s drowning’ when dealing with Leo and Penelope’s battle while the model, 29, revealed their ‘hearts break every day’ while watching the struggle their children face

    ‘I should be the happiest I have ever been with my career, family and friends, but I can honestly say I am never happy in myself now. I constantly worry about them. I would give up everything to take this condition away from them.’ 

    Appearing on Loose Women on Friday, Christine has spoken candidly about her day-to-day life with Leo and Penelope as they cope with the condition, saying she feels they gave her a purpose in life. 

    She said: ‘I feel like, you know when you’re at school and you’re being pushed into what are you going to do when you leave – I didn’t know and I never really found my purpose in life until I had the children I knew I wanted to be a mum. 

    Routine: Speaking to The Mirror , the couple, who are also parents to 10-month-old daughter Felicity, admitted they are learning to live with the condition although there are days in which they feel defeated by the lifelong developmental disability

    Routine: Speaking to The Mirror , the couple, who are also parents to 10-month-old daughter Felicity, admitted they are learning to live with the condition although there are days in which they feel defeated by the lifelong developmental disability

    Routine: Speaking to The Mirror , the couple, who are also parents to 10-month-old daughter Felicity, admitted they are learning to live with the condition although there are days in which they feel defeated by the lifelong developmental disability

    ‘Now understanding more about autism, I know I can help them. I know I’ve got tonnes of patience, I know I can plan ahead, I’m quite creative in how I think slightly outside the box. I’m blessed. I’m blessed to have them.’

    The model opened up about the struggles the family face on a day to day basis including the twins need for routine and familiarity and the lengths she will go it to get it.

    She said: ‘Leo’s got more problems with food. He’s had a lot of food therapy and we try and help him as much as he can. He likes everything beige, he likes everything dry, he doesn’t like any smell or texture. So he’s crackers, crisps, toast if it’s a particular butter, which I can’t always get…

    Christine detailed the heartbreaking moment she broke down after not being able to get the correct butter brand for her son. 

    Shock: The former Miss Liverpool said the autism diagnosis came as an 'instant shock' but that the twins had exhibited classic signs of the condition

    Shock: The former Miss Liverpool said the autism diagnosis came as an 'instant shock' but that the twins had exhibited classic signs of the condition

    Shock: The former Miss Liverpool said the autism diagnosis came as an ‘instant shock’ but that the twins had exhibited classic signs of the condition

    Leggy: Christine detailed the heartbreaking moment she broke down after not being able to get the correct butter brand for her son

    Leggy: Christine detailed the heartbreaking moment she broke down after not being able to get the correct butter brand for her son

    Leggy: Christine detailed the heartbreaking moment she broke down after not being able to get the correct butter brand for her son

    Opening up: Christine looked emotional as she candidly spoke about the struggles her twins face on a day-to-day basis with Katie Price (right) listening intently

    Opening up: Christine looked emotional as she candidly spoke about the struggles her twins face on a day-to-day basis with Katie Price (right) listening intently

    Opening up: Christine looked emotional as she candidly spoke about the struggles her twins face on a day-to-day basis with Katie Price (right) listening intently

    She said ‘I did [go from supermarket to supermarket]. I went to four supermarkets. At the last one when this butter wasn’t on the shelves I just burst into tears in the fridge aisle and I could see the staff like going, there she is the crazy butter lady is here again because I’ve usually got six blocks of butter when it’s there. It’s a tiny little thing but to him it’s so important.’  

    ‘The day starts with me being exhausted because I’m still up all night with Felicity. She doesn’t sleep and usually Penelope will get up first. At the minute it’s 5.30am every morning. She comes in, she’s quite hyper at the minute.

    ‘She’ll go down and have breakfast. She can get quite obsessed with different foods so she can ask for something anything from 10 to 50 times, she’ll keep asking until she gets it or we show her it.’

    New pals: Christine detailed her twins' daily routines and how she feels 'blessed' to have them

    New pals: Christine detailed her twins' daily routines and how she feels 'blessed' to have them

    New pals: Christine detailed her twins’ daily routines and how she feels ‘blessed’ to have them

    Candid: Christine spoke to Katie  as she paid tribute to her children 

    Candid: Christine spoke to Katie  as she paid tribute to her children 

    Candid: Christine spoke to Katie  as she paid tribute to her children 

    Smile: Christine cracked a smile as her Instagram tribute to her twins was displayed behind her

    Smile: Christine cracked a smile as her Instagram tribute to her twins was displayed behind her

    Smile: Christine cracked a smile as her Instagram tribute to her twins was displayed behind her

    Honest: Christine said: 'I think there is a sense of loss when your child is diagnosed with autism. The things you plan out, what you think you’re going to do...you realise actually those things might not happen as it would normally'

    Honest: Christine said: 'I think there is a sense of loss when your child is diagnosed with autism. The things you plan out, what you think you’re going to do...you realise actually those things might not happen as it would normally'

    Honest: Christine said: ‘I think there is a sense of loss when your child is diagnosed with autism. The things you plan out, what you think you’re going to do…you realise actually those things might not happen as it would normally’

    Vibrant: The model said of her twins' condition: 'I still only see it as part of their personality.'

    Vibrant: The model said of her twins' condition: 'I still only see it as part of their personality.'

    Vibrant: The model said of her twins’ condition: ‘I still only see it as part of their personality.’

    The former Miss Liverpool said the autism diagnosis came as an ‘instant shock’ but that the twins had exhibited classic signs of the condition

    ‘We had absolutely no idea they had autism even though the signs were there. They were non-verbal until they were three, they both walked on their tip toes, they didn’t socialise very well, they still do struggle with socialising with other children, that’s probably one of the most heartbreaking parts of it because that’s just something you expect your children to do, go and make lots of friends.’ 

    She added: ‘I still only see it as part of their personality.’

    The star, who married Paddy in 2011 and welcomed the twins two years later, said although the news was painful she was confident in her ability to parent her children in the right way.

    Routine: Of day-to-day life at home, Christine said: 'It’s hard, it’s challenging and it’s different. They’ve just turned four. But they’re happy, they’re healthy'

    Routine: Of day-to-day life at home, Christine said: 'It’s hard, it’s challenging and it’s different. They’ve just turned four. But they’re happy, they’re healthy'

    Routine: Of day-to-day life at home, Christine said: ‘It’s hard, it’s challenging and it’s different. They’ve just turned four. But they’re happy, they’re healthy’

    Supportive: Christine said: 'I’m really confident that I’m the right mum for these. I know I can give them a really good life. I know with lots of planning, lots of research into everything and preparing the twins I know they can do anything'

    Supportive: Christine said: 'I’m really confident that I’m the right mum for these. I know I can give them a really good life. I know with lots of planning, lots of research into everything and preparing the twins I know they can do anything'

    Supportive: Christine said: ‘I’m really confident that I’m the right mum for these. I know I can give them a really good life. I know with lots of planning, lots of research into everything and preparing the twins I know they can do anything’

     She said:  ‘I think there is a sense of loss when your child is diagnosed with autism. The things you plan out, what you think you’re going to do, go to Butlins for the weekend, go to Blackpool or holidays, you realise actually those things might not happen as it would normally. 

    ‘But that was when we first found out. But now I’ve done my research, and I know a lot more about it, I’m really confident that I’m the right mum for these. I know I can give them a really good life. I know with lots of planning, lots of research into everything and preparing the twins I know they can do anything.’

     Of day-to-day life at home, Christine said: ‘It’s hard, it’s challenging and it’s different. They’ve just turned four. But they’re happy, they’re healthy.

    Devotion: Her supportive husband Paddy shared a sweet snap of himself watching Christine on the TV with the caption ' Good luck my love. You're amazing!'

    Devotion: Her supportive husband Paddy shared a sweet snap of himself watching Christine on the TV with the caption ' Good luck my love. You're amazing!'

    Devotion: Her supportive husband Paddy shared a sweet snap of himself watching Christine on the TV with the caption ‘ Good luck my love. You’re amazing!’

    ‘They’re so different. They’re very different. They’re different with their autism and they’re different in their personalities. What works for Leo might not always work for Penelope. So there’s a lot of juggling.

    ‘They go to nursery; they didn’t start until they were almost three. We didn’t quite see the differences with them and other people their age.’

    Christine also praised her long-term love Paddy for being a hands-on and dedicated father to their three children.

    She said: ‘He really is (hands-on) I do the lion’s share of the childcare because obviously he works. And that’s something else that can upset the twins because he’s not in a set routine with his job, he can be away at short notice. He can be away for a long time. 

    ‘We just try and prepare them. We’ve got a calendar on the wall, I put photographs on the days of the week when daddy’s there and mummy’s there. Because they can’t understand it if I try and explain it to them visually. 

    Her supportive husband Paddy shared a sweet snap of himself watching Christine on the TV with the caption ‘ Good luck my love. You’re amazing!’ Paddy and Christine have previously  spoken about their journey to discovering their twins’ autism. 

    Close: Christine praised her husband Paddy for being a 'hands-on' dad

    Close: Christine praised her husband Paddy for being a 'hands-on' dad

    Close: Christine praised her husband Paddy for being a ‘hands-on’ dad

    Tough times: Paddy and Christine have spoken candidly about their journey to discovering twins' autism

    Tough times: Paddy and Christine have spoken candidly about their journey to discovering twins' autism

    Tough times: Paddy and Christine have spoken candidly about their journey to discovering twins’ autism

    Brave: The couple, who are also parents to baby daughter Felicity, revealed earlier this month in a heartfelt post, shared on the twins' fourth birthday, where Christine write that the toddlers are 'beautiful in an extra special way' (pictured in 2013)

    Brave: The couple, who are also parents to baby daughter Felicity, revealed earlier this month in a heartfelt post, shared on the twins' fourth birthday, where Christine write that the toddlers are 'beautiful in an extra special way' (pictured in 2013)

    Brave: The couple, who are also parents to baby daughter Felicity, revealed earlier this month in a heartfelt post, shared on the twins’ fourth birthday, where Christine write that the toddlers are ‘beautiful in an extra special way’ (pictured in 2013)

    In her original announcement of the condition, Christine wrote that the toddlers are ‘beautiful in an extra special way’, and that she will always encourage them to embrace and live life to the full with their condition.

    The post began: ‘Today you both turn four, and I celebrate so much more. In the last 12 months you have learnt to talk, and you are using flat feet to walk.

    ‘You are conquering your daily challenges, and I’m here to hold your hand, when your dealing with sensory overload, the quietest room sounds like a big brass band.

    ‘You excel in mathematics and amateur dramatics and you amaze me every day, because you are beautiful inside and out in an extra special way. 

    Heartfelt: In her original announcement of the condition, Christine wrote that the toddlers are 'beautiful in an extra special way', and that she will always encourage them to embrace and live life to the full with their condition

    Heartfelt: In her original announcement of the condition, Christine wrote that the toddlers are 'beautiful in an extra special way', and that she will always encourage them to embrace and live life to the full with their condition

    Heartfelt: In her original announcement of the condition, Christine wrote that the toddlers are ‘beautiful in an extra special way’, and that she will always encourage them to embrace and live life to the full with their condition

    ‘The meltdowns, the routines and all the planning ahead. The groundhog days, the beige food and the temperamental ‘time for bed’.

    ‘I love you unconditionally and will encourage you both to embrace your autism.

    She finished her post with the emotional statement: ‘Because you are totally unique and fantastically awesome. All my love always, mummy.’

    Letting the poem itself speak to her followers, she simply captioned the post: ‘My babies, My world #Autism #AutismAwareness’

    Inspired: The heartfelt post saw her gush that the toddlers are 'beautiful in an extra special way', and that she will always encourage them to embrace life with their condition

    Inspired: The heartfelt post saw her gush that the toddlers are 'beautiful in an extra special way', and that she will always encourage them to embrace life with their condition

    Inspired: The heartfelt post saw her gush that the toddlers are ‘beautiful in an extra special way’, and that she will always encourage them to embrace life with their condition

    She then went on to share the image of a cupcake with a 4-shaped candle placed on top, to honour their special day.

    Clearly emotional and proud of her toddlers, she captioned the sweet tribute: ‘Happy Birthday to my gorgeous twins Leo & Penelope. 

    ‘#4today how fabulous you have grown from then, Leo – 6lb7oz and Penelope – 6lb10oz. 

    Looking back on the power of motherhood, she continued: ‘You changed my life forever, swapping my stilettos for slippers and discovering a patience I didn’t know I had,’ before signing off sweetly with: ‘I love you both more than you will ever know.’

    Happy birthday: She also shared the image of a cupcake with a 4 candle placed on top, to honour their special day

    Happy birthday: She also shared the image of a cupcake with a 4 candle placed on top, to honour their special day

    Happy birthday: She also shared the image of a cupcake with a 4 candle placed on top, to honour their special day

    The pair have never previously spoken about Leo and Penelope’s health conditions. MailOnline has contacted their representatives for comment.

    The post was flooded with well wishes from fans – who praised the couple for continuing to raise their children normally and lovingly. 

    One fan began by writing: ‘I work with autistic kids and they are amazing. Love that you embrace it!’

    WHAT IS AUTISM? 

    Autism is a lifelong developmental disability that affects how individuals interact socially with others, and perceive the world

    Understanding and relating to other people, and taking part in everyday family, school, work and social life, is made more difficult by the condition

    Autism is a spectrum and affects individuals in different ways – most commonly influencing their learning abilities and mental health

    Around 1 in 100 people have autism – with approximately 700,000 people currently living with it in the UK

    If one identical twin is on the spectrum, the other has a 76 percent of also being diagnosed with it

    While another added in admiration: ‘Well if you could possibly go up any higher on that pedestal I see you on you just did. Christine you never fail to amaze me in all you have achieved, battled with and your never ending strength which motherhood takes from us all.’

    Further fans chimed in by praising the blonde with: ‘You are amazing and those babies are lucky to have you’ and ‘@mrscmcguinness melt my heart you do…. beautiful words from the heart!’

    Paddy, 43, and Christine, 29, have been married since June 2011 and welcomed their third child Felicity in September.

    Back in October, the Take Me Out host admitted to the Sunday Mirror that while being a father has its stressful moments, it has changed his life for the better.

    He said: ‘Like most mums and dads, I enjoy a good moan about how difficult it is being a parent. But I do love it. 

    ‘Sure, the bad, stressful things outweigh the good things but the good things are so good they eclipse all the other stuff.’ 

    He went on to affirm his point during an interview with BBC Radio 1’s Nick Grimshaw earlier this year, joking: ‘I spent my first night back in the marital bed last night and everything is great. 

    ‘Anyone who listens to the show who has children knows that having kids is probably 80 per cent really stressful hard work and 20 per cent fantastic. But the 20 per cent is so fantastic it kind of outweighs the 80 per cent.’ 

    Many other celebrities have shared their experiences with raising an autistic child in the past. 

    Proud: Many other celebrities have shared their experiences with raising an autistic child, including Keith Duffy, who revealed his daughter Mia had been diagnosed at 18 months (above)

    Proud: Many other celebrities have shared their experiences with raising an autistic child, including Keith Duffy, who revealed his daughter Mia had been diagnosed at 18 months (above)

    Proud: Many other celebrities have shared their experiences with raising an autistic child, including Keith Duffy, who revealed his daughter Mia had been diagnosed at 18 months (above)

    Westlife’s Keith Duffy recently revealed his 14-year-old daughter Mia had been diagnosed with the disorder at 18 months – and admitted the news had been overwhelming to hear. 

    The singer, who has been a proactive advocate for Autism Awareness ever since, said last year: ‘My wife never smoked or drank when pregnant, she’s very healthy but she blamed herself and what she could have done differently when she was pregnant. 

    ‘But it wasn’t her fault – nobody knows how autism originated.’ 

    Meanwhile TV presenter Melanie Sykes revealed her son Valentino suffered from autism in 2012 – but admitted he was still an ‘amazing’ little boy who leads a mostly normal life.

    She explained proudly at the time: ‘He is an amazing little boy and he has changed my life. 

    ‘I want everybody to know that if you have a diagnosis of autism today, there is so much you can do with your child. It is miraculous.’

    Proud: Meanwhile Melanie Sykes revealed her son Valentino suffered from autism in 2012 - but admitted he was still an 'amazing' little boy who leads a mostly normal life

    Proud: Meanwhile Melanie Sykes revealed her son Valentino suffered from autism in 2012 - but admitted he was still an 'amazing' little boy who leads a mostly normal life

    Proud: Meanwhile Melanie Sykes revealed her son Valentino suffered from autism in 2012 – but admitted he was still an ‘amazing’ little boy who leads a mostly normal life

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