Pregnancy cravings are strange and wonderful things.
Having a baby in your womb can make you eat jars of pickles in one sitting, or, as it did to one of my mum’s friends, leave you digging around in the sandbox to get those scratchy grains on your tongue.
It’s not worth questioning the cravings too much.
If someone’s making a baby, they should be given whatever damn food they want.
Your pregnant partner wants pizza drizzled with chocolate? Get it.
Cookies with tortilla chips and bacon? Make them happen.
No matter how weird or gross, a pregnant person deserves the food they’re craving. Give it to them and say nothing about how strange it is. Alright?
Celebrating the wonder of pregnancy cravings is new book Pickles And Ice Cream, by married artists Vicky Jacob-Ebbinghaus, 33, and Juarez Rodrigues, 29.
Vicky and Juarez asked women around the world about their strangest pregnancy cravings, gathered up the best ones, made them, then photographed the meals as if they were fine dining.
The couple also ate the meals and reviewed them, just to check if pregnant women are actually on to the next big food trend.
A medley of soaps, zero stars
‘Do not try this. Ever.
‘Ignoring this warning isn’t like ignoring the expiration date on a yogurt. It’s like ignoring the warning of the lifeguard on the beach who tells you not to enter the shark-infested waters.’
Sausage and jam, 2.5 stars
‘We had high hopes for this one. So you could say, this is what disappointment tastes like.’
Hot fudge pizza, 3.5 stars
‘Kind of good in a bad way.
‘Since chocolate and pizza are the two most addictive substances known to man, it’s hard to stop eating. Be careful with this one.’
Stone walls, 1.5 stars
‘Tastes like expensive dental work.’
Cherry spaghetti, 4.5 stars
‘Religions have been founded on less divine experiences than this.’
Mashed potato and caramel sauce, 3 stars
‘Not quite as tasty as mashed potato without caramel sauce or caramel sauce without mashed potato, but still strangely more-ish.’
Waffles with mustard and Brussels sprouts, 1.5 stars
‘If you love Brussels sprouts, you might be able to appreciate this as a slightly offbeat waffle topping.
‘If not, it’s future vomit.’
The book also contains some recipes, if you fancy making your own craving-induced meals. Why not?
Pregnancy craving recipes:
Waffles with Mustard and Brussel Sprouts
- 1 egg
- 1 cup all-purpose flour
- 2 teaspoons sugar
- 1/4 teaspoon vanilla extract
- Pinch of salt
- 180 ml milk
- 60 ml sunflower oil
- 4 Brussels sprouts
- 1 tablespoon Dijon mustard
- 1 tablespoon mustard
- Heat up the waffle iron
- Beat the egg until light and fluffy
- Add the flour, sugar, vanilla extract, salt, milk, and oil and beat well
- Pour the mixture into the waffle iron (this recipe makes two waffles
- Cook until golden brown and crispy (4–5 minutes)
- While you are cooking the waffles, bring a pot of water to a boil
- Add the Brussels sprouts and cook for 5–10 minutes until tender.
- Remove the pot from the heat and drain.
- Serve the waffles on a plate with the mustard and Brussels sprouts on top
Hot dogs and peanut butter dip
- 2 tablestpoons of peanut butter
- 1-3 hot dogs
- Place peanut butter in a small dish
- Dip hot dogs into the peanut butter. Eat.
Seat belts were first invented by the Englishman George Cayley in the mid-nineteenth century. Since then, they have been used to help keep people safer in accidents. And after tasting them, it is clear that this should continue to be their only purpose. Forever.
SERVES 0. DO YOURSELF, YOUR TEETH, AND YOUR DIGESTIVE SYSTEM A FAVOR AND DON’T EAT THIS.
- This can be enjoyed “raw” in the car by simply chewing on an available seat belt. Or you can remove a seat belt and gnaw on it in the comfort of your own home.
SERVES 0—WE’LL MAKE YOU A DEAL. YOU DON’T EAT THIS. WE WON’T TELL YOUR NEIGHBORS WHAT YOU JUST DID TO THEIR WALL
- Procure your piece of wall in the most legal way possible
- Lick it or break off small, bite-size pieces
Sausage and Jam
- 1 sausage
- 1 tablespoon strawberry jam
- 1 tablespoon apricot marmalade
- Fry the sausage in a hot pan until it is brown and crispy on all sides
- Use the jam as a sauce
Pickles and Ice Cream, by Vicky Jacob-Ebbinghaus and Juarez Rodrigues is published by Robinson and is out now (£9.99).