Bradley Cooper Put A Baby In Here

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    I know what you’re thinking: Isn’t Bradley Cooper secretly gay and had sex with Victor Garber to start his acting career? And the answer is what are you his lawyer? I didn’t write anything! What matters right now is that people are searching for Irina Shayk pregnant, finding this post, and then going, “Dear God, what magnificent butt heaven have I stumbled upon?”

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    It’s just a shame the real Chris Kyle didn’t live long enough to see this. He would’ve been like, “Eh, I already had sex with this on top of the Superdome. Which if you’ll recall, is also the location I like to brag about murdering black people with my sniper rifle from even though it’s stupid easy to prove that I didn’t. Yet I still got a book deal anyway. America’s so great.” (It’s not. It’s not at all.)

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    Photos: AKM-GSI, Getty

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