It seems like only yesterday we were changing our clocks for British Summer Time. The evenings were lighter, bonus. But the mornings got darker, boo – only for a bit though.
Soon we were bathing in glorious sunshine on our way to work, marvelling at how happy we feel when the sun is out, and how uplifting it was to leave the office and still see blue skies.
Well, this time round it’s not all roses, bud.
We might get a shred of relief for a week or two as we are fooled into thinking it’s not actually the middle of the night when our alarms go off.
But then, for half the year – as is customary when you choose to live on a tiny island in the North Sea – we will be plunged into darkness until way into 2017.
Yes. Get ready for another week of confusion, minimum, and four months of getting dressed in the dark as we go back to good ol’ Greenwich Mean Time this 30 October.
Here are 16 things guaranteed to happen every time the clocks go back.
1. You have known the ‘Spring Forward, Fall Back’ mnemonic since you were about 5 but you still can’t figure out if this one means you get an extra hour in bed or not.
We will help you out: it does. The *actual* time as you’ve known it since spring will be 7am, but your newly changed clock will say 6am. Aka, get ready for ONE MORE HOUR IN THAT BADBOY YOU CALL BED.
2. If you’re in a club when the clocks change at 2am, you’ll suddenly realise you have a whole extra hour to get through. For some people this means more time to be your best self. Go you. For many, it means either a) more time to say drunken things we can never take back, or b) more trips to the loo we don’t need to make the time go faster til we can go home.
3. Either you, or somebody you know, will make a joke about being Doctor Who. It’s not really travelling through time though, is it?
4. You decide to change all of your clocks in advance to keep on top of things…
5. …but you forget about the clock on the cooker. You tell yourself you’ll get around to changing it eventually, but let’s face it, it will stay that way until the clocks go forward again.
6. There is no way you’ve got the voodoo skills needed to change the clock in your car. You’ve tried literally every button but all you’ve succeeded in doing is clearing your mileometer, washing your windscreen and turning on cruise control.
7. You wake up confused in the morning, unsure if your iPhone has changed automatically or not and it takes the best part of half an hour Googling ‘What time is it?’ before you can trust any clocks anywhere.
8. You seriously consider phoning the speaking clock, before you remember it probably costs about a tenner and besides, you don’t even know the number any more. Does it even still exist?
9. All your meal times are thrown into disarray. Your stomach doesn’t understand why the clocks have to change…
10. Strangers will attempt to make awkward small talk with you and it will all sound the same. ‘Oh, isn’t it dark leaving work now? Winter’s really here!’ Really? I hadn’t noticed.
11. You can’t help wondering if it’s really worth being plunged into depressing 4pm darkness in exchange for an hour of vague dusky light in the morning, when you’re either in bed or down in the Tube anyway.
12. You’ll have a rant about why we can’t just stay on BST and enjoy lighter evenings all year round.
13. …but then you remember that if the clocks didn’t go back it wouldn’t get light in some places in Scotland til 10am.
14. …and farmers would be working for hours in the dark each morning, which is allegedly worse than you working for hours in the dark in the evening.
15. But then the clocks changing has been associated with heart attacks, diabetes, obesity and increased suicide levels, so you don’t know what to think any more.
16. Somebody will turn up at the office ridiculously early – and it’ll usually be the one most likely to turn up an hour late on normal days.
17. You end up falling asleep on the sofa after dinner every night because while the clock says 10pm, your body know it’s 11.
18. Unfortunately, if you’re a parent, your children are suffering the same fate – only it means they are waking up A WHOLE HOUR EARLIER. And it will last for about two weeks. Which means you’ll be even more tired.
19. Basically, you’ll be a mess for a week before you work it all out and forget how bad it was… until next time 🙁