If you’ve got time for a selfie, you’re not working hard enough (Picture: Getty)
Firstly, nobody cares that you are in the gym, so why are you posting that picture to Instagram?
Secondly, your entire visit has been wasted because you didn’t want to get sweaty and ruin the picture.
Thirdly, I’m in the background of it and I don’t want to be on your Facebook, stranger.
The naked crusaders
I love that you love your body. You go for it.
But please. It’s common decency to just wear a towel on the rather long walk from the shower to your locker.
For the love of all that is good, put your bits away.
The sweat left behind
You know when the person before you didn’t have the common decency to wipe down their equipment.
And you don’t want to use your towel to wipe it down, because ugh.
So you just stand there cursing everyone around you under your breath.
Group classes on the floor
Look, if you’re going to run me ragged and make me feel like I’m about to keel over, can you at least have the common courtesy to do it in a room that is away from everyone else?
People that ask you how many sets you have left when you are half away through lifting
Bro, don’t ruin my flow yeah?
Guys that smirk at girls in the free weights area
Oh you think me lifting weights is funny do you?
Tell you what will be funny, when this kettle bell is flying through the air towards your head.
Girls that reapply their make up for their PT session
Babes, with the best will in the world he isn’t flirting, he’s just trying to encourage you.
And also, sweat + foundation = recipe for an unattractive disaster.
New machines with no instructions
Oh, I appear to be tangled in this new glutes-cruncher because I wanted to show off.
When they close for maintenance
And you’re sat at home on a Monday night wondering what people do in the evenings…
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