13 things people who hate surprises know to be true

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    13 things people who hate surprises know to be true
    Surprises are just plain awful (Picture: Davis/Express/Getty)

    Please can we stop this surprise nonsense? It’s not fun, it isn’t cool and a lot of people simply hate it.

    When it comes to the big surprise factor people either love it and secretly wish for a surprise every single day, or they live in a constant state of fear that someone will try spring a dreaded surprise on them.

    They are guilty of causing too much commotion and rabble, what is so wrong with simply being in charge of everything going on around you?

    1. Not fun

    No matter what surprise co-ordinators think they are doing for you, and despite the effort that they are putting in, a surprise is simply not fun.

    It is annoying, it makes you nervous, and you feel a little mugged off that you didn’t spot it coming.

    2. Causes stress

    There is a reason why people look so shocked when they encounter a surprise birthday party, or are given a surprise gift.

    The look of shock isn’t a precursor to a feeling of joy, it is a look of shock due to the stress of the entire moment.

    3. Just awful

    The noise involved, the planning, the moment the surprise is finally unveiled and of course then having to pretend to the person who organised it that you loved your surprise. When in fact it was like having teeth pulled out at the dentist.

    All just awful things to experience.

    13 things people who hate surprises know to be true
    Make it stop please, look even Swifty doesn’t like a surprise (Picture: John Shearer/WireImage)

    4. Too much commotion

    The essence of a surprise is that is unexpected, and you just simply do not agree with the commotion and disruption to your normal life which it causes.

    5. Birthday ones are the worst

    Each year you announce to everyone that you will be having a small gathering in your favourite place. Simple right?

    But despite repeating continuously that this will be a small gathering you are suspicious that someone in your friendship group will hijack the event and turn it into a surprise birthday bash.

    If they do, it will all end in tears.

    6. You live in fear

    Sometimes you think that your anti-surprise ranting will lead you to being the perfect target by your so called friends and family.

    They will probably think that they are doing you a favour by stamping out your dislike of surprises to prove they aren’t all that bad, but they are wrong.

    7. People think you are joking

    Every time you say in your most authoritative tone that you simply do not like surprises you are met with cries of ‘oh come on, but everybody loves a good surprise’.

    Apparently for some reason the concept of not liking a surprise is simply too strange for people to accept.

    13 things people who hate surprises know to be true
    Hillary doesn’t like surprises either (Picture: Melina Mara/The Washington Post/Getty)

    8. But you are not

    People don’t quite realise just how willing you would be to punch someone in the face who shouted SURPRISE at you.

    People really should approach you at their own peril.

    9. It’s like an ambush

    In any other situation walking into a dark room full of people that suddenly shouted at you would be considered an ambush.

    So when this happens in the back room of your local pub for your birthday, why is it considered to be fun?

    It is still an ambush.

    10. You would never surprise anyone else

    The planning, the sneaking around, the logistics of it all just seem like an utter nightmare.

    You would rather hand over a John Lewis voucher and get it over and done with. There’s your surprise mate, a nice new lamp from John Lewis, enjoy.

    11. You like to be in control

    Is there anything wrong about just wanting to be in control of your surroundings and being safe in the knowledge that there are no presents hidden around?

    Or some sort of novelty item tucked away in your bathroom waiting to jump out at you?

    13 things people who hate surprises know to be true
    Surprise birthday party = the worst (Picture: NBCU Photo Bank)

    12. You don’t understand why people love them

    Whenever you hear someone wildly exclaim ‘I love a good surprise’ you die a little inside.

    You feel like promptly walking over to them, and simply asking ‘are you ok hun?’ because there is nothing to love about them at all.

    13. Surprise holiday = worst

    Your worst type of surprise would be what you see happening in movies, when someone is surprised with a holiday.

    What would you pack? How would you get everything together? What about your travel injections? Where would you get your malaria tablets from?

    You would actually eat your passport in protest.

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