12 ways your kids humiliate you on a daily basis


    12 ways your kids humiliate you on a daily basis
    Imagine this, but in public (Picture: Getty)

    Children often find their parents to be a source of embarrassment but sometimes it works the other way round too.

    If you have children, you’ll be familiar with the onset of a red-faced fluster as they drag you kicking and screaming into social shambles.

    Scottish Government undated handout photo of Ruth Hamilton's shortlisted design for Scotland's baby box which have been unveiled today. PRESS ASSOCIATION Photo. Issue date: Monday January 23, 2017. The baby boxes with the new design will be handed out to the parents of every newborn in Scotland from the summer following pilot projects in Orkney and Clackmannanshire which started on January 1. See PA story SCOTLAND BabyBox. Photo credit should read: Scottish Government/PA Wire NOTE TO EDITORS: This handout photo may only be used in for editorial reporting purposes for the contemporaneous illustration of events, things or the people in the image or facts mentioned in the caption. Reuse of the picture may require further permission from the copyright holder.Here are the shortlisted designs for Scotland’s new baby boxes

    Whether they’re throwing a tantrum in the supermarket, telling the whole school that Santa isn’t real, or being the child that runs around in a restaurant, there are no end of new ways in which they will manage to draw unwanted attention.

    We love them but here are 12 things we could all definitely do without.

    1. Kicking up a stink by picking the worst time imaginable to fill a nappy

    Babies’ bowels can sense an opportunity to unleash an atrocity – a lift, a bus, a long queue.

    Two young women looking uncomfortable on the bus.
    (Almost) everyone is pretending not to notice the smell (Picture: Getty)

    2. Being a potty mouth

    They always seem to suddenly develop Tourette’s when the mother-in-law is round.

    3. Being inappropriately factual

    ‘We’re late because mummy had diarrhoea and we had to stop at Grandma’s house to go to the toilet.’

    There’s really no point trying to cover this one up because your flaming cheeks have already sealed your fate.

    4. Scolding innocent passers-by

    Telling your child that they will get spots if they don’t eat their veg is a lie we’re not proud of but we’ve all tried it.

    It’s perfectly harmless until your child catches sight of a spotty teenager and shouts, ‘Look, Mummy, that boy hasn’t been eating his greens.’


    8. Outing your husband/wife nicknames

    That moment when you’re introducing your family to new people and your child is in fits of giggles explaining that your other name is ‘peachy bum’.

    Note to self: The walls have ears;

    9. Forcing you to be ‘that mum’ at the school gates

    When it goes quiet upstairs 10 minutes before you’re supposed to leave for school and you find your little treasure has covering their body in pink felt tip because they ‘wanted to be Peppa Pig today’.

    10. Being masters of mispronunciation

    ‘Mummy is teaching me lap dancing.’

    ‘Tap dancing, sweetheart! It’s tap dancing, remember? Happy feet?’

    You’ll have to make hasty, guilty-faced, corrections when their malapropisms make you look bad.

    11. Shamelessly telling the truth

    They will receive gift and give one of a handful of unsatisfactory responses, including I already have one of these/I don’t want that/I hate that colour/I’m not wearing that.

    12. Kicking you when you’re down

    You really should know better than to share a toilet cubicle with a toddler.

    You think it will save time if you take it in turns to wee but those mischievous little hands, innocently placed behind their back, are in fact grappling with the lock so that, surprise, they can fling the door open and giggle as everyone in the queue catches sight of you squatting.

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